The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
