Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
