i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
