you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
