my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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