your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
