Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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