Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
