i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize