I faked an abortion last night.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
