do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
