Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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