You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
