Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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