Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i think my cat just said my name.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
