True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
