Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Randomize
