Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
