Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
