I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
