I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
