that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
