Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
