I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
