So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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