i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
