i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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