Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
