How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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