dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
