My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
