no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
