is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
