I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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