fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I bet he comes in French.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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