Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
