i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
