He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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