What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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