I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
