Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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