Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I would fuck him just for his dog
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
