I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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