Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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