well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
