It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
