did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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