Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
why didn't you poke me back
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
