I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
