I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
