so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Be still, my beating vagina.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
