i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
