Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
