as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
