Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
