so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
