that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
